Justin's been gone a little over 24 hours now, and while I know he's not going to be walking through my door anytime soon, I can't help but to give it a quick glance every now and then in anticipation. My phone has been glued to my hand and goes where I go. I check it every 5 minutes...maybe I missed a call, or text, or even a Facebook post. I do this fully aware that he can't text me or connect to Facebook and knowing that my phone is on loud (really loud) and you'd have to be nearly deaf not to hear it.
When I woke up this morning (after a few hours sleep), I realized that he is really gone; it's not a dream. In that moment, I felt alone, empty and sad. Then, literally 2 minutes later, my phone rang and it was Justin. I felt SO happy to hear his voice. The rest of my afternoon has been filled with an indescribable void and numbness.
I'm hopeful these feelings will slow down, or at the very least, not experience so many in one day.
Even though I feel in limbo today, I will continue to praise and glorify God. I will have faith that he has a plan for my life and will pull me through this trial; while simultaneously, providing for my husband's needs and protecting him.
I pray that I can take that first day as gracefully as you my friend.
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