Justin's been gone a little over 24 hours now, and while I know he's not going to be walking through my door anytime soon, I can't help but to give it a quick glance every now and then in anticipation. My phone has been glued to my hand and goes where I go. I check it every 5 minutes...maybe I missed a call, or text, or even a Facebook post. I do this fully aware that he can't text me or connect to Facebook and knowing that my phone is on loud (really loud) and you'd have to be nearly deaf not to hear it.
When I woke up this morning (after a few hours sleep), I realized that he is really gone; it's not a dream. In that moment, I felt alone, empty and sad. Then, literally 2 minutes later, my phone rang and it was Justin. I felt SO happy to hear his voice. The rest of my afternoon has been filled with an indescribable void and numbness.
I'm hopeful these feelings will slow down, or at the very least, not experience so many in one day.
Even though I feel in limbo today, I will continue to praise and glorify God. I will have faith that he has a plan for my life and will pull me through this trial; while simultaneously, providing for my husband's needs and protecting him.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Fear, Prayer, and Protection
As deployment nears, I (like many) have experienced a great deal of fear for my husband. However, I've have found comfort in God's Word and his promises. Below is a look into my personal journal and bible study. Hopefully, it to can provide comfort to someone else and be of encouragement to others.
FEAR:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of love, power, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
"Give all your worries and fears to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philippians 4:6
"...Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will bless you." Genesis 26:24
"When you go out to fight and your enemies and you face horses and chariots and an army greater than your own, do not be afraid. The Lord your God...is with you." Deuteronomy 20:1-2
"So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." Matthew 10:31
"...Do not be afraid. Just have faith." Mark 5:36
"I'm leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27
"I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying 'You are my servent.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:9-10
Psalm 23
PRAYER:
"Keep on asking, and you will recieve what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
"O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries." Isaiah 30:19
"I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!" Isaiah 65:24
"At that time you won't need to ask me for anything. Truly I tell you, you will ask the Fathr directly and he will grant your request because you use my name. You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy." John 16:23-24
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may behealed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great powr and produces wonderful results." James 5:16
"And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for." 1 JOhn 5:14-15
PROTECTION:
*The book of Psalms is my favorite, but here are a few others.
"The Lord is my light and salvation - so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me [and my husband] from danger, so why should I tremble?" Psalam 27:1
"The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harmand watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and g both now and forever." Psalm 121:5-8
"You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap." Proverbs 3:24-26
"The name of the Lord is a strong fortress, the godly run to him and are safe." Proverbs 18:10
Isaiah 43
Psalm 91
We could all use a little encouragement from time to time and lots of prayer. :)
FEAR:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of love, power, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
"Give all your worries and fears to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philippians 4:6
"...Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will bless you." Genesis 26:24
"When you go out to fight and your enemies and you face horses and chariots and an army greater than your own, do not be afraid. The Lord your God...is with you." Deuteronomy 20:1-2
"So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." Matthew 10:31
"...Do not be afraid. Just have faith." Mark 5:36
"I'm leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27
"I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying 'You are my servent.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:9-10
Psalm 23
PRAYER:
"Keep on asking, and you will recieve what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
"O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries." Isaiah 30:19
"I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!" Isaiah 65:24
"At that time you won't need to ask me for anything. Truly I tell you, you will ask the Fathr directly and he will grant your request because you use my name. You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy." John 16:23-24
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may behealed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great powr and produces wonderful results." James 5:16
"And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for." 1 JOhn 5:14-15
PROTECTION:
*The book of Psalms is my favorite, but here are a few others.
"The Lord is my light and salvation - so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me [and my husband] from danger, so why should I tremble?" Psalam 27:1
"The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harmand watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and g both now and forever." Psalm 121:5-8
"You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap." Proverbs 3:24-26
"The name of the Lord is a strong fortress, the godly run to him and are safe." Proverbs 18:10
Isaiah 43
Psalm 91
We could all use a little encouragement from time to time and lots of prayer. :)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Things Never to Say to a Deployed Soldier or their Spouse
Occasionally, Soldiers are complimented for their service. While recognition never fails to bring a smile, there is a group of much stronger, much more deserving individuals who fail to recieve recognition: Army Wives or military spouses.
Those not in the military atmosphere try to offer support and empathy. Often times, these well-intended attempts are not well thought out. The following is a collection of such thoughts that are intended with consideration but come across as inconsiderate or oblivious at best.
The following list of lines from family and friends are memorable, because they are particularly discomforting.
Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:
“I know how you feel. My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.” Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.
"I know how you feel. My husband just signed up for the Army and I just can't handle him being away at training." Although, you may miss him terribly, basic and AIT training is NOT the same as deployment. One day you will 'know' how it feels and realize how foolish you sounded.
“I know how you feel, I was a single mom.”
The wife does stay alone and care for things, but a single mom does not have to worry about a husband being in danger.
“I understand what you are going through, I watch the show Army Wives.”
The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.
People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”
Hearing this is not a compliment. The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.
Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.
“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”
Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.
If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.” OR
If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”
Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.
Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers. Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?
“Do you miss him?”
“Are you excited he is coming home?”
“Are you scared he will die?”
On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.
Others carelessly encourage, “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”
Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays. They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family. Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.
Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:
“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”
“You knew that he would be deployed.”
Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military. No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.
Some people just do not think before they talk:
“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”
Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.
Asking the Soldier, "Do you have to go?" YES. Yes, they have to go. It's their job. They cannot walk into their commanders office and request not to be sent.
Asking the Soldier, "Well, can't you just injure yourself to get out of it?" Really!?! NO. That is NOT how it works and is completely unacceptable and dishonorable!
The right things to say are not lines stored on a pocket-sized notebook, which can be pulled out in the necessary moment. Upon meeting an Army Wife, you should not feel as though it is necessary to try to relate to her. Although you may feel it is socially necessary to comment on the Soldier’s absence, there is really no need to do so at all.
Support, encouragement and graciousness are appreciated for both the soldier and the spouse. However, there is a key to interacting with both, the soldier and spouse: sincerity.
If you pray, offer comfort by sending your prayers to the soldier and his family.
*Special thanks to www.afghanistanmylasttour.com
Those not in the military atmosphere try to offer support and empathy. Often times, these well-intended attempts are not well thought out. The following is a collection of such thoughts that are intended with consideration but come across as inconsiderate or oblivious at best.
The following list of lines from family and friends are memorable, because they are particularly discomforting.
Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:
“I know how you feel. My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.” Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.
"I know how you feel. My husband just signed up for the Army and I just can't handle him being away at training." Although, you may miss him terribly, basic and AIT training is NOT the same as deployment. One day you will 'know' how it feels and realize how foolish you sounded.
“I know how you feel, I was a single mom.”
The wife does stay alone and care for things, but a single mom does not have to worry about a husband being in danger.
“I understand what you are going through, I watch the show Army Wives.”
The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.
People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”
Hearing this is not a compliment. The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.
Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.
“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”
Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.
If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.” OR
If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”
Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.
Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers. Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?
“Do you miss him?”
“Are you excited he is coming home?”
“Are you scared he will die?”
On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.
Others carelessly encourage, “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”
Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays. They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family. Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.
Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:
“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”
“You knew that he would be deployed.”
Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military. No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.
Some people just do not think before they talk:
“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”
Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.
Asking the Soldier, "Do you have to go?" YES. Yes, they have to go. It's their job. They cannot walk into their commanders office and request not to be sent.
Asking the Soldier, "Well, can't you just injure yourself to get out of it?" Really!?! NO. That is NOT how it works and is completely unacceptable and dishonorable!
The right things to say are not lines stored on a pocket-sized notebook, which can be pulled out in the necessary moment. Upon meeting an Army Wife, you should not feel as though it is necessary to try to relate to her. Although you may feel it is socially necessary to comment on the Soldier’s absence, there is really no need to do so at all.
Support, encouragement and graciousness are appreciated for both the soldier and the spouse. However, there is a key to interacting with both, the soldier and spouse: sincerity.
If you pray, offer comfort by sending your prayers to the soldier and his family.
*Special thanks to www.afghanistanmylasttour.com
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